great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
