I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
