My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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