White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
