I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
