Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
