honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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