I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
