Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
