Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
