if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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