So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
