Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
