His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
