I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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