a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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