Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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