I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
