I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
