you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
