Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
