I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
