Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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