We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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