we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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