O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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