Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
