By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
two words: eviction party
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
