I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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