she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
