I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
