we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
