it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
