It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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