Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
