New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
