I smell stomach acid.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
