You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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