oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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