I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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