Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
