It's like a parade of train wrecks.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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