im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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