O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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