do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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