Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
