im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
