I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
