the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
