Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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