just tell him i said nine months
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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